remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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