He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
