He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I think my fart just growled at me.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
