yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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