**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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