There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
