is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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