After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
