And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
