I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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