ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
