How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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