Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
