Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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