Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Life is so much better after having sex.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
