Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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