her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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