Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
