Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Two words: blizzard sex
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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