you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
