How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
