Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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