I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
