Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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