I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
