The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
