Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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