His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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