R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
