Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
