Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
