If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
There's a naked man in my car right now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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