I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Randomize
