Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Randomize
