i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Randomize
