Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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