ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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