Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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