apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
