is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
