I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
