Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
