brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
it glows. i had to have it.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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