I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Randomize
