there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize
