Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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