Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
this is an emotional support booty call
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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