If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Also, beer. Big fan.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
