We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
