hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
